Sunday, December 15, 2013

Christmas Is HEADed Our Way......

Everyone loves a good Christmas story....Right?

Well....picture it.....several years ago, my family had a gift draw.  My sisters and I, along with our families each brought anonymous gifts to be traded amongst ourselves.

When it was my turn to pick my gift....I went to the "girls" pile.  Being the baby of the family...of course my selfishness kicked in full effect!  I picked the largest gift I could find!!!  I eagerly waited my turn as everyone opened the gifts they had chosen for themselves.  I even gloated a little about how mine was gonna be awesome because....look how big it was!!!  

It was finally my turn!!! I leaned it over sideways......and gently tore open the paper.......and I saw little....felt....feet.....

It looked like one of those little children you see in the Cracker Barrel country store, standing with its face in the corner.  I saw her little felt dress.  I thought, " How cute.....it's a sweet little girl!!!"   Then I got to the top.....

As I tore the paper off of the head of what I thought was a child....I cringed because the head was not attached to the body at all!!!!!  Thank God it was a reindeer!!!! I sat speechless.  I managed to utter quietly...."thanks.............for the.........headless....reindeer??"

Everyone began rolling laughing!  I was laughing....to the point of tears.  There was only one person not laughing.  My sister.  She was the purchaser of this decapitated Christmas caribou.  She pointed at  me and said..."You pulled its head off!!!"

In the midst of my laughter, I realized she wasn't joking.  I tried to defend myself.  I told her the head was already off the body!  She didn't believe me.  I told her, "Imagine what you did to me!  I thought it was a headless CHILD!! Imagine...my...horror!!"  Needless to say nothing was going to make this situation better.

She offered to let me open another gift she had brought for a friend that didn't come that night.  So I thought, what the heck....at least I have a chance of getting a gift that ISN'T a severed head.  

I opened the next gift.  It was a snowman shaped cookie jar.  But not the whole snow man....oh no no. Just the HEAD!!! I cracked up laughing.....I  looked at her with great concern and said, "What is wrong with you!!! What's up with all the heads this year??!!!!"  I told her I would just keep the reindeer.  At least I we were having a good time with it.  The rest of the family spent the night putting my reindeer's head in compromising positions....and telling the old..."don't lose your head" jokes.

Still to this day...that was the best dang gift I have ever gotten in my life.  Every year I displayed that deer under my tree with its little stuffed head in it's hands.  Until one year....I had recently watched the movie "Seven"  with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.  At the end of the movie Brad Pitt opens the box that was delivered to him to find a severed head inside.  This inspired me greatly.

That year I put the head in a box....wrapped it...bowed it...tagged it....to my sister.....from Santa.  I tunneled all the way to the back of the gift pile under my mother's Christmas tree....and placed the box strategically so that it would be last gift handed out during our family gift giving.

It had been a few years since anyone had seen the deer.  So, upon opening her present from Santa....she really didn't expect to what was coming.  There it was....just like the movie!!  Her face....with the same expression as Brad Pitt's!! One of  shock....then horror.....then oh crap...she was pissed again!!!! Priceless!!!

So here we are......many many years later, Christmas is coming.  The headless reindeer is no more than an urban legend around these parts.  A tale told and retold year after year to children and grandchildren.  A tale of Christmas, and family, and beheaded animals.....oh you get the point. Anyhow, as the anniversary of this occasion draws nigh.....my husband brought home the greatest gift he could ever give me.  He brought home this Rudolph lawn ornament......who happens to have.....
his head torn off.

1:00 am rolls around and my husband and I are a little bored this morning.  So, while my sister is sleeping....warm in her bed....my husband just finished delivering Rudolph to her front yard.  He is there in her driveway waiting for her to wake up to go to church. 

Now, I don't know 100% what her reaction will be....but banking on our history together....my money is on....pissed.  One thing is certain,  she is going to know who it came from.  I'm also pretty sure the phone is going to ring very early this morning.  So, I better go to bed now and get ready........

Merry Christmas to all.......and to all....a goodnight!  or morning....whatever!  LOL!


No comments:

Post a Comment